Saturday, January 18, 2014

Night of the Living Dead Key Ring Tags

I’m cleaning my office, translating the clutter from the futon to the coffee table and back again—then back again. Much is culled in the course of said transfer. Some of this stuff gets dropped in the paper bag I’m carrying out to the recycling bin. A lot more is shredded. The rest gets put into their proper places, one by one.

I found a customer loyalty card I wanted to put on my key ring. I already had a lot of cards on my key ring; I would have to remove a few if I wanted a viable fit.

Imagine my chagrin when I found this:

Then, this:

I found a couple more cards that were simply snapped in half. The one that really got me, though, was this:

It’s completely white on the other side. There’s no indication of what it once was.

I’ve been walking around with garbage in my pockets all this time, some seriously “sad refuse,” at that. Of course, based on the heft of the bags I’ve been hauling out, it’s safe to say I’ve been living in garbage. Well, Happy New Year, Charlie Brown. No time like the right now to get started on the spring cleaning. 

It’s more than a mere detailing, though. It’s a streamlining. We’re throwing off excess weight and preparing the starship for launch. HALLELUJAH, WE'RE FINALLY GETTING OFF OF THIS GOD-FORSAKEN ROCK!

Whatever pokes along the process, I think, as I haul another load to the trash....