Monday, July 13, 2015

A Brief Spasm of Get-Off-My-Lawn-isms

A little metaphorical pissing into the wind is good for...something, I guess. Look, I’m just sick of this shit, all right?

Stop right now with calling people “amazing.” Unless they can leap a tall building in a single bound, or do anything a spider can, they are not amazing. It says very bad things about us as a culture that simply graduating school—something everyone is expected to do in civilized society—is “amazing.” Your goofy-faced little brother is not amazing for simply existing, either.

It has progressed to the point that whenever I see the word “amazing” abused thus, I am immediately drawn to the real—and sometimes savagely imagined—shortcomings of the individual being celebrated. For instance, “My amazing sister got married on Saturday,” so I think, “What’s amazing is that anyone wants to marry your sister.”

So quit it with the “amazing” crap. You’re not, they’re not, and nothing much is.

I’m actually amazed it took so long for one of these pictures to turn up. Not that I mind the Minions all that much—they do lend themselves well to image macros—but they are being overused. Pushback was bound to happen. 

Me, I miss rage comics. Yeah, I know. Fucked up, right?

I should stop here. ‘Cause you know what else grinds my gears? People saying they’re going to be brief, take only a minute, and they go on and on and on. Enough already!