Vintage Complaints: “The Future Isn’t What It Used To Be”

It’s not the best of times. It’s not the worst of times, either, thank God.

Imagine growing up during the 1960s and you’re watching a TV show set in the 1980s with a giant, freaky nuclear submarine (loved those forward bow fins and searchlight-turned-laser cannon) carrying a fully submersible jet aircraft, and another show in which an entire family got lost in space trying to colonize Alpha Centauri in 1997. Even in Star Trek’s 23rd century (original flavor, accept no substitutes), we had World War III out of the way in the 1990s, and would be due for our first warp space flight a few decades from now in the 21st century. 

What gets me is these Irwin Allen shows would easily go on for three years or more despite their jaw-droppingly awful writing (all those wonderful concepts and props wasted!) while the original Star Trek struggled to stay on every year it aired. Even the famously excruciating Lost in Space would have gotten a fourth season had Allen not inadvertently insulted a west coast network honcho.

According to science fiction in print and media clear into the 1970s, the 1990s were going to be huge. Instead of Khan Noonien Singh, blaster pistols, and the start of the Martian Chronicles, we got grunge, Bill Clinton, Windows 95/98, and online shopping. I’m over it, myself—the ability to shop and pay bills online was was a major change for good—but you can see how some people might be feeling a little put-out.

So what do we have to look forward to? Duct-fan propelled air taxis that can lift vertically like a helicopter and zip across town like a jet? A reality TV show featuring Mars’ first human colonists?

That’s about the best I can think of. I’d like to think of better.

I remember laughing aloud at the title of this song as it seemed so appropriate in the dark years immediately after the terrorist attacks of 11 September 2001. “People Used to Dream About the Future.” Now even our dreams are remakes or “re-imaginings.”

It’s got to turn around sometime. I just hope I live so long.