Thursday, July 03, 2014

The Kind of Positive Attitude We’re Told the Boss Really Likes

No one likes a Gloomy Gus or a Debbie Downer, let alone the bitter, bitchy little thing who sees conspiracies and skullduggery everywhere. Negative people are a drain on our taxed-enough-already souls, so fuck them. Got it?

That said, I’m past sick of hearing how I’m supposed to have this kind of attitude if I want a Really Good Job, or to move ahead at the dead-end, piece-of-shit gig I’m “lucky” to have:

Who knew Ms. Pac Man was so existentially aware? Or that she coincidentally resembled a loose gonad, except with long lashes, a bow, and fuck-me pumps?

Here’s a historical note from your old Uncle L. Roy—this bullshit Millennial bashing going on now, how Millennials are soooooo lazy and unmotivated, etc., was going on the 1990s with the Gen Xers. Hell, I heard it when I was growing up in the 1970s. “People just don’t want to work anymore,” said the beer-bellied, greasy-haired old man who spent his working time sitting/standing around, scowling at the young people sweating at their tasks. I knew a lot of those old guys. Worked my ass off for them, and what did I get? Not even respect.

I’m ashamed to say I spent years as an obsequious, hard-working little chump before I figured that out.

The people these barkers on the Great Red, White, and Blue Turnip Truck are really complaining about are the ones of any given generation who have also figured this out on one level or another. The target audience for their rants is those scared slaves who haven’t. It’s good for the slaves to have someone to feel superior to. When they get kicked to the curb in time for Christmas, at least they can say they worked hard. Not like Those People out there enjoying their lives like they think they’ve a proper right to! (Oooh, the entitlement!)

The irony is as exquisite as it is elegant, but it’s the eternal relevance of the story which makes this classic of socio-anthropological Deception in Nature worthy of the retelling. Especially at this time of year.

Happy Independence Day.