Thursday, June 05, 2014

Great Moments in Failed Cover Art, Part 2

I feel bad for the author. The cover copy and general stated intent of the book do not connect with the intended demographic. One crucial figure in the cover art undermines everything.
Like you what you see, ladies? His milkshake brings all the boys to the yard!
Thanks again to Pulp Covers: The Best of the Worst.

For what it’s worth, there was a time not all that long ago when “confirmed bachelor” meant “queer as a three dollar bill.” As recently as 1988, when I was in my mid to late-20s,  I’d get this question—usually from older women, always with a judgmental eyebrow raised—“So when are you getting married?” the subtext being, “Me and my fellow old hens resent that you’re young, single, and free. You’d better get locked down and miserable with the rest of us or we’ll spread that rumor and make life really difficult for you!”

Telling these witches to fuck off and mind their own business raised more trouble than it was worth. However, time, as always, provides some sort of solution: as an old married guy all these years later, I get to look down my nose at these fat, bitter old things. Most of them couldn’t keep a husband. 

Maybe you should have spent less time flappin’ your jaws and more time learning to cook, you foul hags. I’ve got a book for you right...oh never mind. It’s too late for you, isn’t it? Heh.