Saturday, May 04, 2013

Not Only Did Someone Actually Make a Movie Called "Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead"...

...Variety magazine, of all things, reviewed it.

The executive summary (or the tl;dr, for you moderns) is thus:

Featuring the concept of Japanese anus-worshipping redneck zombies incubating carnivorous mutant tapeworms, “Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead” is somehow worth only a few laughs. Cheap parasitic offshoot of Nikkatsu’s Sushi Typhoon series finds gore-effects specialist Yoshihiro Nishmura at his most slapdash, while helmer Noboru Iguchi doesn’t care to clean up the pic’s narrative and visual mess of repetitive fart and turd gags. Still, the title alone will help it worm its way into fantasy fests and Asian cult ancillary, to be seen by viewers who will need to be drunk or otherwise zombified to enjoy it.

The full story is even worse. Still, I admire the reviewer Maggie Lee. Her suffering for watching this is made all the more poignant because she writes her review straight and doesn’t try to crack us up with clever lines about how she suffered. That she allows her subject matter to speak for itself shows a rare professionalism and — especially in this tiresome, loathsome media environment of yappy-snarky wannabe Dorothy Parkers — an almost godlike restraint.

Lee notes that the title is a big selling point all to itself, and while I understand this, I’m still trying to imagine how the producers raised the cash to make the film: “Hey, we’re making a movie called Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead! You know you want a piece of this!” 

I looked for images from the iMDB page and the official site (on WordPress!) but it’s probably for the best I didn’t find any. No, let’s let this one just...go.